So it is August 21st, in less than 2 weeks school starts up again... this year dragging me through the year as a junior... in probably the worlds worst class... I keep looking at my schedule, looking at the letter school sent home... The changes, there's so many... It's the first year I'm nervous about returning to school.. I guess it's partially because I know the rumors and truth will most likely start their flight around school before the first day of classes is even over... I'm not looking forward to going back to school because my summer, has been the most amazing summer yet... 3 weeks in California, A week in the wilderness at Unirondack with some of the most amazing people ever... I've had an amazing summer... I don't want it to end... I'm not ready for the stress of my junior year. My self image again is slowly starting to go down the drain as school draws near... Anxiety levels are high... And it's because of one break up damn love life... Relationships... suck... What is life for right now? Having fun... getting to know who and what you want, Experimenting... So then wouldn't dating be the reasonable thing for a teenager who's lost in her own world? No more serious relationships not right now... not unless I find someone I connect to really well... Love, is used loosely now... but Like is so meaningless.. and crushes... crushes are those things that elementary school children get... I'm in search of a word a phrase for this attraction I have... I don't know. I guess i can say it in more words than needed ... I'm intrigued by their personality and amazed by their talent, Interested in getting to know them... Well since the start of this journal entry my mood has changed severely. So i'll leave while i'm happy so this ends on a positive note. Good night